The Wheel of the Roman Chariot Author practically Unknown There's a one-wheeled Roman chariot To the north of Barford Hall. There's a lion licking chops inside the gate. Mad Rod smiles broadly, as he dances at the ball. And no one has seen Barry as of late. It crossed the sea 43AD  - was lost some how in battle Has ever since been trodden on (and worse) by Barford cattle And now it's been detected and will soon be auctioned off Unless the Barford lions do their job With, of course, a little help from Belly Dancing Rob He's called Mad Rob by the guys on the job, And Dancing is his Passion. He'll belly dance when given the chance Since Ballet's out of fashion The Scullery Maid was taken in, as everyone could see, They'd often see them dancing in the cellar well past three. By Mad Rod who liked his fun and loved to Belly dance But once she spotted Barry Gunn that maid seemed in a trance. She was nearly sixty-one - that did not bother Barry Gunn. Since he had seen her with Mad Rob at all the local bars He wanted to impress that maid - and Barry Gunn stood un-afraid So he set out into the night beneath the shining stars He took along his 'you-know-what' to see what he could find. And just inside the outer wall he thought he'd struck a mine. Bells were ringing lights were flashing Barry Gunn smelled gold. But once he started digging found that chariot of old. Much too big to carry back he just removed one wheel Because he wanted all to see just how she made him feel. And headed back toward Barford Hall rolling his find along Because he loved the scullery maid with "a passion of the strong" Meanwhile back at Barford Hall the dance was at its height. Reminding folks of Khatmandu one still and tropic night “The lions need some exercise, so I'll go turn them outâ€� Declared Mad Rob just as he paused to draw himself a stout The gardener finds a rusty wheel - torn tunic side by side Nor hide nor hair of Barry Gunn nor hint of how he died A puzzled looking scullery maid now goes about her job And justice has been served today. "The vengeance of Mad Rob" There's a one-wheeled Roman chariot To the north of Barford Hall. There's a lion licking chops inside the gate. Mad Rod smiles broadly, as he dances at the ball. And no one has seen Barry as of late. ONE MORE TIME There's a one-wheeled Roman chariot To the north of Barford Hall. There's a lion licking chops inside the gate. Mad Rod smiles broadly, as he dances at the ball. And no one has seen Barry as of late.